Frugal Lessons at Home. Raising Happy Children
By: Cheryl Johnson

"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship." - Buddha

The kids are back in school. While there is an eerie peace about the house, I will truly enjoy the quiet days ahead. While the kids are off to learn their abc's and 123's at school, don't forget the lessons they learn at home are often the most important.

For many years I was a single parent. Finances were always a difficult challenge. I lost count of how many times my kids expressed the desire to have something that one of their friends had and in fact "everyone but them" had. I eventually realized that the best way to deal with these feelings was to give them the gift of perspective.

Since being happy is mostly a mindset determined by our perspective of what happiness is, the best thing I could do for my kids was to give them the proper perspective to always be happy with what they had, rather than unhappy about what they didn't have. Teaching them that so many others did not even have the very basics of life's necessities, as they did, would help them appreciate what many of us take for granted.

Even when I think of it now, I really sounded so corny; my insistence that we should be happy with what we have because so many others did not even have the basic necessities of food, shelter, and love. But, I truly believed it. I was thankful to have what I had and desired nothing more than what I needed to sustain myself and my children with the basic needs. I entered a life of frugality out of necessity, but grew to understand the many benefits of such a life, and more and more began to want nothing more.

Being frugal by choice gives a certain peace of mind, and happiness, that is hard to explain. I guess one of the reasons my lifestyle brings peace to me is because the feelings of inadequacy we sometimes have, because of our wanting more (or wanting what "everyone else" has )are non-existent. I actually feel my life is adequately fulfilled by the simple basic needs. I have eliminated the longing for more.

The feeling that my life is not as good as it should or could be, or as good as "everyone else's", is just not there. If I choose to indulge in a luxury item or something I merely want, it is because "I want it", not because "everyone else has it." It is amazing how true happiness can come with nothing more than a change in perspective.

When we understand that our purpose in life is to bring something of value to society, rather than owning everything considered valuable to society, happiness is a natural consequence. If I could teach my children the same I would not only do them a great justice but, the rest of the world as well. When you bring something of value to society, you see value in yourself. Seeing value in yourself brings happiness. I feel that raising happy children, who find happiness in bringing something of value to society, is one of the most valuable things a parent can offer the world.

Raising happy and content children in today's world is just one more difficult challenge for parents. Offering your children a different perspective could prove to be the answer to raising "happy" children. Our society is more and more status driven. Your children's perspective of their status could play an important role in determining if they can be happy with their lives. Status is measured a great deal by the material owning of things. A measure of one's status is many times a consequence of what one owns.

Teach your children that looks can be deceiving. Not everyone who acts like they have wealth, actually have wealth. I like to remind my children of our own situation. How we have to struggle to get back to living within our means because of trying to keep up appearances. Many people are spending money they just don't have in an attempt to keep up with the joneses and "appear" to be wealthy. I remind them that, like ourselves, one day they too will probably have to pay a price for their pretending. That is not to say that there are not families who have no financial worries and actually are blessed with abundance.

It is important, if not essential, to your child's success in life to teach them to look beyond appearances. Things are not always as they seem. Teaching them little lessons like this will engage them in analyzing all things they encounter in life and getting to the reality and truth of situations they are confronted with.

For example, when confronted with choices your children will be equipped to look to the essence of anything. They will do better in life to see the true advantages, or disadvantages, of all things, when not influenced by mere appearances. Giving them this perspective will give them a great advantage in pursuing their goals in life.

Let me reflect on a personal story that touched me so that I will never forget it. Remember, I constantly reminded my children from a very young age that we had more than many others, and should be thankful for having what we do have, not sorrowed by what we didn't have.

One energetic day I decided to rearrange the furniture. Now let me interject that we lived in very confined quarters, myself and four small children. Even the doorways were more narrow than that of the average home since our home's foundation was built around a narrow older mobile home. This rearranging was a very ambitious task to say the least. But, I was determined to incorporate some change into our lives on that day!

So, I began a long day of frustration. Since our home was so small, there were not a great many options for arranging the furniture. Well, the grandest moment of truth came to me on that day. I learned for a fact that my children were in fact listening. That my constant reminders were not in vain. I was trying to move a bed from one room to another. And, having an extremely difficult maneuver through a narrow doorway, I cried out in frustration; "I'm so sick and tired of these doorways. I just want normal size doorways like everyone else." Well, I didn't even have time to reflect on my own statement when, my son (who was only 8 years old at the time) said to me, "Remember Mommy, we have to be thankful for what we have, some people don't even have a place to live." I was speechless of course, and very near a flood of tears. While I stood astounded at the comment, coming from the mouths of babes, I pushed back the urge to cry at the revelation that my son did understand what I had been trying to teach him. The realization, and consolation, came to me then, that he would always be successful in life no matter what hardships may face him.

The lessons we teach at home could prove to be the most important lessons in life. Happiness is a natural consequence of contentment. Teach the lessons at home that will give your children the perspective to be content and happy

"Man falls from the pursuit of the ideal of plan living and high thinking the moment he wants to multiply his daily wants. Man's happiness really lies in contentment." - Mohandas Gandhi

Cheryl Johnson is a mother of four helping herself and others become and remain debt free. Publisher of Simple Debt Free Living at - a self-help plan, ideas, and resources for a simple proven debt elimination strategy, household budget planning, frugal living, and practical home business ideas. Money saving tips for monthly bills, home decorating, gifts, weddings, groceries, clothing and much more save money every day.

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